To think on:

Hope is the Sun It is light It is passion It is the fundamental force for Life’s blossoming (quote from Daisaku Ikeda) Hope is my favourite word.

is your relationship toxic?

We want to live in joy and security and approval perhaps and certainly in a respected relationship. These come in many forms. Each is unique. We need a healthy respect for ourselves first and foremost which may be something that you have learned through the years of living, something you have been helped to gain because of emotionally grown parents/guardians.

When however we are in relationships or friendships that become toxic, much damage can begin to flow outwards, contaminating our central need for contented and focused living. And sadly, disrespect, anger, disapproval, rudeness – and many other words that describe a toxic environment – cause pain and distress not just for ourselves, but for our community.

It is a need to resolve or leave these. It is a need to remove ourselves away from them. They may be healed, they may return to a warm loving mature nature, but they have no place especially in these days with our need for resilience, courage, selflessness, social caring. Watch out for toxicity. Remove it from your life. It exists with strength to strangle, let’s move it out from that place. Transform your being and living. Expect the best from yourself and that includes the right to leave toxicity behind, away from you.

New Year Resolutions do not work. Try this instead

Good Morning to you all!

Living this year 2021 in a new way is something for us all to consider.

There have been many challenges, sorrows, difficulties, anxieties last year that are not going away. Why now pile on New Year Resolutions too to add to the strain? Why not look at questioning yourself how you reacted to situations and people and do you need to reflect and re-consider your living habit/attitudes/thoughts/motivations and actions?

So instead of giving yourself another possibly unreachable target, perhaps feeling like a failure when it doesn’t succeed as you demand of yourself, have a quite long look at these things, and see if one thing could be improved. That will benefit everyone around you, and may reach out even further. We know that small ripples of change can create amazing results more than we ever imagined in the first place.

My wish for those of you going automatically into “New Year Resolutions” is to instead have a go at initially really understanding yourself more – eg, WHY do you reach for alcohol or food in times of discomfort, tension, or just as said, automatically. Without question. How could you change yourself/your thinking, to not need that pure automatic reaction?

Understanding, or just being AWARE of how you are thinking/behaving is a very very good start to change what is not really working well for your life, your existence. Instead of creating another pressure on yourself in other words, especially with the uncomfortable pressured world we are living through, without checking out the reasons for the behaviour you want to change, understand yourself and reactions first. Could they be better, could that then create for you and your loved ones a much better Life to Live?

Once this understanding arrives, be gentle on yourself, and find/wait for a time that is good to make those changes for the better at a point you are in a strong determined quiet place to make them, not because you think you “should”.

HOW can you rid yourself of negativity?

Do you know how many THOUGHTS you have in a day? Would you be surprised to learn it is anywhere between 12 – 66 Thousand ! thoughts in one day? Did you ever stop to realise that THOUGHTS CREATE YOUR FEELINGS?

We learn from various studies from science centers as per The Natural Science Foundation that approx 80% of our THOUGHTS are NEGATIVE.

Plus, 90% of our Thoughts are REPETITIVE. So, you can easily see how we continue to teach ourselves, without realising, that the only thing we are and can expect is negativity! Horrid things, horrid feelings. And there is the next thing to be AWARE OF – FEELINGS.

So, to re-cap, our Thoughts create our Feelings.

NOW you can understand how important checking out our Thoughts is because they are powerful and create our sense of maybe de-motivation, de-pression. And we may well not be the slightest bit aware of what we are doing to ourselves – just by repeating negative thoughts. Automatically.

Yes, sometimes negative thoughts can indeed be warnings, and keep us alert, but this isn’t the norm. We are apparently “wired” up to negative awareness from primitive days of warding off the enemy who may eat us.

But we really don’t need this anymore – and YOU can Teach Yourself to CHANGE ALL THIS. By being Consciously Aware, Curious in fact of HOW and WHAT and HOW OFTEN you are thinking that miserable down beat thought. eg, I am fed up. I am no good. It is awful today. I am always tired. There is no happiness anywhere to be had. etc See? how this creates a FEELing that you now BELIEVE.

HOW to CHANGE? We all need some cheer right now, Covid, Darker Days, Less Sunshine….. your Thoughts are the way forward:

try it – watch out, recognise, even write down when you keep thinking the same negative thought groups, the same pattern and sense how you then feel. Then say to yourself the opposite, or remember a better moment, or create one in your imagination, your visulisation. eg If you think “this is a horrible day” remember a lovely day several times. If you are stressed about your work, think immediately of something positive about it, or what good it is doing for others to be there. Always replace quickly the negative thought with a positive, better, more upbeat thought. Keep doing this, and you will TEACH your MIND to be more resilient, more cheerful, more hopeful, more accepting, ie CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

Your Sub Conscious Brain will gradually accept this and your outlook will be completely different and far more helpful, encouraging, motivating for YOU! Yes, it takes practise, but dramatically changes your world for the better.

Remember this: Thoughts create Feelings. Feelings create Motivation. Motivation creates Action. Action creates Results. You are in control. You have the POWER to create a happier more content more Positive Self World.

Food and Mental Wellbeing

New clients looking for sessions to deal with anxiety and depression and stress will be encouraged by a discount for their first consultation from £70 to £50.00. The consult will encompass nutritional tips and life coaching for skills and strategies and new direction that works to improve your world.

Meanwhile, do you know which foods holds serotonin – a neurotransmitter – which is essential in this quest? Do you know what your gut needs to produce good bacteria, which “talks” to your brain? In an effort to work with positive feelings and resilience to stand up to the negative sensations, self chatter and situations, these are the things we need anne@lifeholistics.com

Long Term Covid

We are in a time of symptoms that are collecting around the whole body/mind. It does at least within this discomfort show how strongly the two are connected.

At LifeHolistics there are many available resources that are concerned with the whole body/mind, in unison. Anne has a lifetime of experience and knowledge to support and improve uncomfortable sensations. Some seem unrelated. They all are. Are you worried, tense, anxious, pressured, confused, unsure, unhappy, sore, tired, puzzled? If you are, and these symptoms are not clearing, send an email anne@lifholistics.com and arrange some talk time.

Anxiety busting tip that works

For yourself, or someone who you are aware is deeply anxious, try this:

Adrenalin will be pushing the heart rate and shallow breathing occurs, mind goes into wanting to run, but maybe that’s not ok. So what to do?

Try this: immediately

Focus on 4 things you can SEE, name them. Focus then on 3 things you can FEEL, name them. Focus then on 2 things you can HEAR, name them. Focus on one thing you can SMELL.

In this way your awareness is back into your surroundings rather than the thing that has triggered your/their anxiety. Then you can begin to focus on what you ARE THINKING and CHANGE them. Being back in control of your thinking is essential and a clever way to choose how to continue to change the sensation of anxiety. eg, breathing exercises of which there are many, to learn and use; movement exercises, dance, laughter, chatting, music, massage type therapies. Keep checking the thinking to be aware if it is being positive, helpful, supportive, rather than increasing the sense of panic.

Weight Loss required?

WE have always known it is not simple to lose weight. Some with fast metabolism may disagree! It is a speciality of mine to teach how to lose weight safely, easily (which is different from simply!) and happily.

Please ring or email, and start the process – today!

Quality Sleep

Did you sleep properly last night? Or the night before?

Quality sleep is better than plenty of poor sleep where there is restlessness and constant waking. Quality is vital to enable your immune system to work efficiently. It is known we go for less beneficial foods, starchy high sugar foods if we sleep poorly. So it stands to reason that lack of sleep contributes to weight gain. Which you may not have realised.

Studies show that the brain does not repair sufficiently when you continue to work/play and not rest. You end up as you know with fuzzy thinking, slow memory, and lack of focus. And that awful sense of weariness. Have you become a caffeine junky in the process?

And you just generally feel rubbish! It can all be changed. There is a difference between one or two nights poor length of sleep and insomnia.

Whichever you are suffering with, it can all be solved.

Quality sleep means being asleep for at least 80% of the time you designate for shut eye, wherever you are; that you go to sleep in approximately 20 minutes; and don’t wake up more than once.

It is tempting to keep looking at the time if you are awake – don’t! This creates a tension in your mind, which means less relaxation. There is a previous blog on the good things to aid quality sleep. If though you are now in a cycle of insomnia, there is some re-training to accomplish. It is best to consult with your own specifics to find the working and successful way forward for your condition. If it was easy regain sleep patterns you would have managed it by now of course. So it doesn’t help to beat yourself up that sleep is evading you. That stress in itself can be major. And simply make it all worse. Be in touch and lets discuss and sort. Lack of sleep leads to many poor health conditions. Let’s prevent that.

Achieving good sleeps!

Currently we are all keen for a good night’s sleep to enable the strongest of us to keep well. For those with underlying health conditions, or general aging issues, or sheer tiredness and weariness that comes with the tension, anxiety and maybe depression of long standing challenges, sleep is utterly impressively important.

Sleep as previously mentioned is also a vital component of the efficiency of the immune system – which keeps us fighting off bacteria and viral overwhelm. So let’s look immediately at sleep support systems when the thinking is a constant or sudden “I can’t sleep!” We feel quite outraged or insulated or worried that what we understand as essential is not happening. And being awake for hours in the dark is unsettling.

Professor Lord of Birmingham Uni directed at study on the immune system that included the benefit of sleep, amongst many studies around the world dedicated to this issue. She maintains that if you “disrupt your sleep, your immune system will suffer.”

The first thing is to go to bed at the same time, rise at the same time approx, select the bright light of daylight this time of year as soon as you are up and low lighting at end of day. Very importantly, leave electrical goodies out of the bedroom! That includes, TV, computer, ipad, mobile phone, chargers. They are not part of the bedroom scene, they will disrupt your own electric magnetic field, they will keep you too alert to sleep well.

The room needs to be totally dark, eye masks may be a must in the lighter months from dawn onwards. Heavy meals pre bedtime are not a good idea. Digestion of food is a massive job for the body, and it really doesn’t want to be focused on that soon before your bedtime, your feeling tired time. It’s a message to rest, digesting food won’t help. Plenty complex carbohydrates at this time – around 2 -3 hours before you would consider closing down from the day – is good. See my other blogs for a listing of supportive foods for sleep enhancement.

Exercise is obviously good, but not, like food, near bedtime. Stretches, and gentle yoga – ok, running, walking, cycling etc shift the innate fight and flight responses – but wind down gradually, and don’t drink alcohol to bring about sleep! It may unwind muscle, but it will bring you alert too soon by messing up your deep sleep patterns. It’s interesting how many people have a cup of tea full of caffeine, late in the day. If sleep is not easy, I really wouldn’t have caffeine after lunch time.

Clearing the mind, easing the thought waves with calming music, sound designed to relax the brain waves – there is deliberately techno music to create the calming brain waves instead of those that stimulate – some sound like rain water for example. These take a gentle 30 mins or so to be effective. Breathing from the diaphragm deliberately filling up completely with oxygenated air, and removing the carbon dioxide with the out breath, just as long and deliberately is guaranteed to settle down the system. Maybe meditation before bedtime, which is just a way of recognising that stillness is now wanted. Discover the amazing parasympathetic system instead of just knowing of your sympathetic system – this is calm and steadiness v alert and liveliness!

And Be Present! Be in the Now ! Leave the uncontrollable factors to go to sleep too! Come out of the habit of allowing your mind to wander away into the future or worry about what has happened. You need to be aware and choose your thoughts. Dismiss unhelpful patterns. Your body/mind wants to rest. Give it that chance, rather than sabotage it with endless thinking.

Read, distract with something pleasant. Be kind to others, and remember others will be kind in return too, and allow good things to come to you as well as the tough times. Bring on the good emotions, bring on the sleep, give your mind a happy thought to bring into the light of day ” I am fine” for instance. You will sleep and wake up so. ” I am weary and frightened” and you will wake up so.

Bring on the sleep, bring on the healing.